The former year is one I won't forget since there were many "firsts" for me and my family. In 2011 my first son had his first baby, so I received my first granddaughter. What a grand meeting that was, too.
I began to blog and started my first published website, "Body Over Fifty" (http://www.overfiftybody.com) which addresses issues and events in my small "over fifty" life. The aim is to help myself while, possibly, helping others going down similar paths.
I was in a car accident that was a first for me. It was a head-on at speeds of 55 mph and I survived fairly intact thanks to air bags and seat belts and the grace of God. Since then, I've seen car wrecks on TV that are very similar and resulted in death, so I consider myself so very fortunate. I was very concerned about being able to play guitar and mandolin again since my left (chording) wrist was pretty messed up. Months of physical therapy and exercises allow me to continue this love. Again, I'm so fortunate.
New Dreams in 2012
This year promises to be another memorable one. My daughter will graduate from University, MTSU to be precise. Perhaps a new business venture for her will commence in 2012 as well, only time will tell.
The first half of 2011 was one spent writing for an online site. It kept me busy and paid a few bills. It also gave me confidence and practice in the craft, which I definitely required. That exercise led me to this blog and the website I already mentioned. It also impels me to renew my personal challenge to finish my book this year.
Finally, because of roof repairs in 2011, I now have a viable craft room in a formerly leaky, dank, covered and enclosed porch. I have filled it with my collected crafting items and supplies and am awaiting the final touch - a work table - to make it complete. It shall be where you will find me most days and maybe nights in 2012.
Having this space also freed up some needed space inside the house. I now have a better place to store and use my many musical instruments. I truly couldn't be much happier.
Because It's There
I know that creativity will not bloom simply because I have a room, more room, and supplies, but it will help. I find that being away from the "norm" of everyday life fuels my creativity. That meant being outside, but the craftroom is nearly there. The north and east walls are mostly windows which allow me to take in the hills, creek, flora and fauna. The ambient lighting is terrific during the day. There is a door to the outside as well, which means I can have visitors to my shop without disturbing the home environs; a great feature if I ever get to that point.
My computer station is not in the workshop/craftroom, but it is a few steps and one door away. I have yet to master the ability to measure time accurately while on the computer, and I vow to spend my time more carefully this year. Hence, it shall not be moved!
Because I'm Here
When you realize that half your life is past, you wonder what you will leave behind when you depart. That is one reason I start the website - to help me get through this midlife challenge (I prefer not to call it a crisis!). I always saw myself as an artist, yet I went into nursing. True, they say nursing is an art, but it's a science more. The art of nursing is not the medical side, it's the personal, spiritual side. The more time I spent in the profession, the farther from the "art" of it I slid. Truth is, if you have leadership abilities and the brains to match, you're best suited for management positions when you're in the long term care arena. Unfortunately, this is not a creative position for the most part. The few creative functions - educating staff, creating new policies and procedures or figuring out how to comply with regulations while making employees' tasks less burdensome - ultimately didn't "cut it" for me.
So now I'm torn between the need for creativity and the utilization of an ability and profession. At 57, becoming a "floor nurse" is a daunting consideration. The physical and mental toll, the hours of mandatory overtime, the separation of the management person I am from the front line employee I would be - all of it makes me wonder if nursing isn't in my past now. I'm trying to stay open to that still small voice, however, in case I'm wrong. "Here I am, Lord, I come to do your will" is my mantra.
There's a pattern to life. When I was a thirty-something, I realized that my late teens and early twenties were spent preparing myself for that portion of my journey. Now nearly 60, I see the same strands of web intertwined and outstretched to encompass today and all that it promises for my future. String theory notwithstanding, time brings me here and I only hope my weaving is true.